C'mon baby, let's ride. Let's escape to the great sunshine.

Winter Wonderland Ferris wheel with friends.

My darling, 2013, it's so lovely to meet you.
I don't do resolutions. I think people either love them or hate them (and then talk awful they are). I'm just kind of neutral to them. But this year, I think I'd like to make some!

I mean, what's the harm? My life really doesn't have any order. So I like the idea of throwing out some suggestions, creating some direction and seeing where I go from there. I mean, if it doesn't all come to fruition - that's ok! I had good intentions! Right?!

I think my friends trying to describe me would say things like, "free spirit" and "go with the flow". So, I write out these resolutions with my personality in mind. :) They are not solid.

• Read more. My entire life I was such a book worm and as I got older I just stopped. I don't know what happened, but I would like to read at least one book a month. I hope to bump that count up to more than one. But we'll start out simple. 
• Serious business. A close friend of mine and I decided on a whim to open up a business together. The more we sat on this, the more I realized, this wasn't some hazy daydream talk- I really want to do this. I would like to spend this next year researching, mapping, and taking real steps towards this goal. I know I can do it, I just need to put my big girl pants on! 
• Stay Healthy. I'm a vegetarian, but I find myself teetering. I want to make it my personal goal to stay true to my dietary needs and wants. No animals for this gal! I'm also super bad about vitamins. I need more of those bad boys!
• Run!!! This was huge for me last year. I pushed through a wall I had never pushed through in my entire life, and realized I loved to run! I had to stop after a knee injury and I never got back into it making me a sad panda. Starting up running this year means so much to me! 
• Open up. I realized late last year that while a lot of people say I'm kind and caring, I will hit a wall at a certain point emotionally and refuse to open up. Which I think can sometimes come off as me being cold/distant/etc. If I'd just open up more, push through that wall, and say and do what I'm really feeling, I feel like I'd be on top of the World! 
• Go on adventures. I lost my spontaneity a bit and I really need to stop that. Make it happen, Alex. We really can't guarantee time! 
• Financially sound. Ugh. I need to really start putting more in that little savings account of mine. Even if that means I have to live the broke life every now and then. It's so worth it. This will help me all-around really. 

And there we have it. An odd number for an odd year. Let's have a solid year, folks!

Happy Hearts,

Alex

Hello, 2013, you're darling! // Happy New Year!

Taken last year. A friend's sparkler right at midnight.

“May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art — write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.”

-Neil Gaiman 

Happy New Year!!!! 

Love, love, love,

Alex 

But classy girls don't kiss in bars, you fool.

Alright, 2012, looks like this is it. We rode it out for 365 days and now it's time for you to hit the road. Never to be seen again; bittersweet. Mostly, I think you and I had fun and lots and lots of learning.

In the beginning of the year I was set on creating the best year possible. I felt like the energy surrounding me was so thick with positivity. This was truly "my year".

In the spring I turned twenty-six and started to really panic. I was no longer in my "early to mid twenties". I can now be referred to as "late twenties" and I'm four years away from thirty. Which wouldn't be so terrifying if I felt like I had some direction to my life. Ha. We also needed to find ourselves a third room mate as the current one decided she was on her way to the big apple to move in with friends of our's that already lived there.

Summer came and it couldn't have been a rougher time for me. In the beginning of the year, I had decided I was at a point to let an old boyfriend back into my life as a good friend. Things got complicated when he asked me to move in with him (across country mind you) and then it unraveled and I realized I wasn't sure we knew how to be "just friends". Ever.  Shit was not fun to say the least. I learned a lot about myself though. We also said goodbye to our third room mate and welcomed a new friend into our home. I got more serious with a close friend about a fun little business adventure. Oh, and I took a new job position at work that made me feel less "stuck" within my company.

At the end of the summer, I finally said goodbye to that boy. I wasn't sure it would ever happen. It's been four years and a very, intimate deep seeded history with us. But I stood up for myself! Things even got a little  LOT crazy.  I learned to just let go. Not everyone is going to be open and honest in life, and sometimes people are going to believe lies, and that's gotta be OK with me. I know the truth. I know who I am. I learned not to attempt to overstep our good friend, Karma. Not everything is in my control nor should it be. Sometimes people don't work out. Not even as friends. Everything is OK.

I also learned about the passing of my Dad. That was a hard one. Learning to accept that I'll never get the chance to re-connect. This was huge for me. I learned that I can't keep thinking, "I have time". Because, well, I don't. We don't always have time. That is still a hard one to swallow. I miss him, but I feel him so strongly around me now. And that comforts me. It made me put a lot of things into perspective. I don't sweat the small things as much, and that little lesson about letting go from earlier really hit home. I felt like I was losing a lot this year. But gaining so much at the same time.

Fall came and went so quickly. I anticipated Ana's arrival back home. I felt like I was finally starting to get my groove back (hey, Stella). Life was great, I was loving it. Sunday Funday was a new tradition I started with Jackie and anticipated it every week. For the first time in my life I experienced Buyer's Remorse . And then Ana came home unexpectedly and tragically. While grieving for and with my best friend, I finally got news I had been searching for regarding my Dad and his passing.

With all the sadness returning and refusing to let it swallow me up, I went to my happy place. I also allowed myself to just be in the moment. Not thinking about before or after, but now. I stopped caring so much about what other's thought or may think about me, what I liked or wanted and just did it because I wanted to. I even let a boy in!

I truly did a lot of learning. I can honestly say I am leaving this year a lot lighter feeling. I am thankful and grateful for my experiences. I take something from it all. As I walk through 2012's door I'm not resentful or regretful. I had a lot of goodbye's this year I think it's because I have a lot of "hello"s waiting for me when I knock on 2013's door. And if I hadn't done all that learning and shedding, I wouldn't be able to.

2012, it's been an experience. But it's a block party after all, so it's time to move on over to 2013. I can drink to that.

Happy Hearts, 

Alex