Fridays are made for sunshine.

It's only a little more than a week into the new year, but I already feel accomplished. I wanted to really make it a point to stay more positive. Let things roll off my shoulders. Of course things have come up, and I felt stress and anxiety creepin' in, but for the most part, I think I've done a great job.

I've really tried to convey my true feelings and thoughts versus putting up that wall making me appear "cold". I've mentioned before I'm either crazy emotional or I'm stone-cold. Actually, let me re-phrase that. I'm always crazy emotional. But I don't always choose to show or express my emotion. Anyway.

I'd like to bring that forth on my blog. I think it'd be neat to take a day to just relish in the good things that happened this week. I had a class in particular that was so negative and catty. The first 15 minutes before every one of our meet-ups, I'd make every student say something positive. It was cool to see how the energy would change. I need to incorporate that into my life.

Here's some things that I really enjoyed and found beauty in...

• Someone I met recently mentioned how kind I was in conversation. It made me feel special.
• Catching up in the break room with a co-worker I rarely work with now.
• Discovering and spending a butt-load of time on Kind over Matter.
• Renewing my annual pass to Disney World!
• Deep cleaning my room
• Sleeping with a sheet instead of my giant comforter (sounds silly, but it makes for better sleep!).

What happened to you this week that made you happy? Big or small, serious or silly, it's good to focus on those instead of the stresses. 

Happy Friday and hearts!

Alex 

Can't feel my legs anymore, I'm still running.

Evening run the other night with a friend.

One of my goals this year is to get back into running. Running is never something that I thought I'd be into. In fact, the first day I attempted to run, I was almost certain I was dying. I'm not the type of person to "push through" when things get hard. I'm the type of person to throw my hands up and walk away. I've done this literally my entire life. After the first day of what I thought of as utter and complete hell, I couldn't believe that I was getting my shoes on to do it again. That week was probably the hardest thing I've done physically. I pretty much had a tantrum. I screamed, kicked, cried. I was angry that I had to "push through"; that it didn't come naturally or easy. Why did I keep doing something that felt like hell, hurt, and made me so angry?! Well, I'm not sure (because like we've discussed this is not typical Alex behavior), but I'm so glad that I did. 

I remember running one day and it was literally like the clouds cleared, the sun came through and my body felt lighter. Clarity. I DID IT. I fucking ran and I liked it. I didn't want to stop. I wasn't counting down the minutes until we were done. I was in my zone. 

Then my knees started to hurt. And I did everything that was recommended, but after weeks of not being able to run, I was so discouraged and sad that I just stopped trying. Running became a distant dream. It made me so bummed out. Did I let my body get so off track that I wasn't able to bring it back? How could I have done this to myself? Shame.

But here I am. Ready to go again. I'm going to take it slow, see what happens. Take all the  proper precautions.  Hopefully this time around I won't hurt myself. I'm also going to attempt to dabble in cycling and maybe even some yoga. Any suggestions on what types of Yoga, at home DVDs, etc. is welcomed! 

Happy Hearts,

Alex

C'mon baby, let's ride. Let's escape to the great sunshine.

Winter Wonderland Ferris wheel with friends.

My darling, 2013, it's so lovely to meet you.
I don't do resolutions. I think people either love them or hate them (and then talk awful they are). I'm just kind of neutral to them. But this year, I think I'd like to make some!

I mean, what's the harm? My life really doesn't have any order. So I like the idea of throwing out some suggestions, creating some direction and seeing where I go from there. I mean, if it doesn't all come to fruition - that's ok! I had good intentions! Right?!

I think my friends trying to describe me would say things like, "free spirit" and "go with the flow". So, I write out these resolutions with my personality in mind. :) They are not solid.

• Read more. My entire life I was such a book worm and as I got older I just stopped. I don't know what happened, but I would like to read at least one book a month. I hope to bump that count up to more than one. But we'll start out simple. 
• Serious business. A close friend of mine and I decided on a whim to open up a business together. The more we sat on this, the more I realized, this wasn't some hazy daydream talk- I really want to do this. I would like to spend this next year researching, mapping, and taking real steps towards this goal. I know I can do it, I just need to put my big girl pants on! 
• Stay Healthy. I'm a vegetarian, but I find myself teetering. I want to make it my personal goal to stay true to my dietary needs and wants. No animals for this gal! I'm also super bad about vitamins. I need more of those bad boys!
• Run!!! This was huge for me last year. I pushed through a wall I had never pushed through in my entire life, and realized I loved to run! I had to stop after a knee injury and I never got back into it making me a sad panda. Starting up running this year means so much to me! 
• Open up. I realized late last year that while a lot of people say I'm kind and caring, I will hit a wall at a certain point emotionally and refuse to open up. Which I think can sometimes come off as me being cold/distant/etc. If I'd just open up more, push through that wall, and say and do what I'm really feeling, I feel like I'd be on top of the World! 
• Go on adventures. I lost my spontaneity a bit and I really need to stop that. Make it happen, Alex. We really can't guarantee time! 
• Financially sound. Ugh. I need to really start putting more in that little savings account of mine. Even if that means I have to live the broke life every now and then. It's so worth it. This will help me all-around really. 

And there we have it. An odd number for an odd year. Let's have a solid year, folks!

Happy Hearts,

Alex

We're already 15 days into 2012!

Oh, my! It's been a while.  The holidays were lovely and ringing in the new year was great. I realize that with a new year comes a ton of (mostly unrealistic) resolutions. Also, "This is MY year!" or "This is THE year" all over social networking sites. I've sure been guilty of this. However, I kind of stopped doing it because I realized I was hyping myself up for a huge let down. And well, that can be a bummer.

BUT. I can honestly say I feel like there is a lot of positive energy surrounding 2012. Now, I'm not going to jinx myself with those crazy resolutions (I'm going to go the gym every day, volunteer three times a week & diet), but I am looking forward to a really great year. I feel like if anything spectacular is going to happen, this is going to be the year.

I started out just right by allowing people in my past to re-enter. Finally learning how to remember the past without holding a grudge or allowing it to bring back unhappy feelings. Allowing it to truly be a lesson and educate me and still being able to be open and connected to the other person without those harsh feelings attached. It's a lovely feeling.

I think this year I'm looking forward to being connected more to my friends, loved ones, and the Universe in general. So many of us are just walking through life like Zombies. Not being present in every moment. So, if I had to make a resolution and without it being something I know I can't obtain I suppose it would be to stop and smell those dang flowers.

Hello, 2012. Let's have a swell year. :)