Dosha.

do·sha  /ˈdōSHə/

Noun (in Ayurvedic medicine) Each of three energies believed to circulate in the body and govern physiological activity. I think I've mentioned this, but I work for an all natural (97% natural) hair school. Along with hair and skin, we also teach culture. How we started, what we believe, etc. etc. One of the things we teach and touch on are Dosha. If you're interested in finding out which Dosha is predominate in you, there's an awesome quiz here - Dosha Quiz

Both my mind and body are a Kapha through and through. Occasionally, Vata is in a close second. 

Kaphas are naturally calm, thoughtful, and loving. They have an inherent ability to enjoy life and are comfortable with routine. When in balance, Kaphas are strong, loyal, patient, steady, and supportive. People with an excess of Kapha tend to hold on to things, jobs, and relationships long after they are no longer nourishing or necessary. Excess Kapha in the mind manifests as resistance to change and stubbornness. In the face of stress, the typical Kapha response is “I don’t want to deal with it.”

I'm so out of balance right now. I've actively blogged about my struggles recently, and I'm starting to become more balanced. However, it is a struggle. A friend and I have discovered a center that is non-profit and offers all kind of classes through out the month at such an affordable price for spiritual living. There's an energy healing class, positive energy flow class, and a class to inner peace. This could not have come at a better time. 

I love when you're unsure of what to do and it literally just falls into your lap. 

:)

hi, you.

Taken earlier today when I saged.

These past few of weeks have been a roller coaster. I'm getting used to a new routine. Now that I work back in the Institute versus traveling all over town, my free time has dwindled. Which seems bizarre given instead of 10 hour days, I work 8. However that means two days off instead of three, and while I interacted with people on a daily basis, dealing with over a hundred students (hair students at that) on a daily basis and having co-workers again can make your mind race. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but I had been out of the loop for a while, and by nature I tend to be very laid back and go at my own pace. Being thrown back in to the (very chaotic) mix was awesome, overwhelming and exhausting all at the same. I find myself driving home in complete silence on Saturdays. Wanting to "decompress". I come home and lay on my bed in total silence. Sometimes I still have my purse around me. Exhausting.

In these past few weeks I also experienced an awful panic attack. I think I've only had one other besides this one, and I didn't even realize it was one until I explained it to a friend who is nurse. I was just about to fall asleep when I jolted awake and immediately my brain began to obsess over death. I won't get into it because I'd rather not take that journey again, but it bled over into the next day, and now weeks later, I'm finally starting to shake those feelings off. Yes. Weeks. I'm unaware if this is normal or not, but it hasn't been pleasant especially when you add the work mumbo jumbo from the beginning of this entry. I write more on my thoughts on death over here for anyone interested.

Today was the first day I had some kind of motivation and will to rid of these negative thoughts. I grabbed some sage that I had and began to sage my entire room and myself. I cleaned my entire room and envisioned myself cleaning off the "negative". I felt so much better and I started to feel lighter. I can feel the energy shifting inside of me and around me, and I feel more balanced. 

That's where I've been lately. Now that I'm more balanced and settling in to this new routine I've got going, I'm going to make a more conscious effort to carve out time to blog and read. I don't blog for anyone else but myself, and I've missed it. It's pretty therapeutic. 

:)

Who's that lounging in my chair? Mama, this surely is a dream.

I've not caught the "blogger bug" that's going around. It seems super contagious. Where all of a sudden bloggers feel like they need to "unplug" and/or stop blogging so much. I'm not close enough with any bloggers to catch this, thankfully. But I've definitely unplugged and it was kind of intentional. Sometimes I think of things I wouldn't mind blogging about but by the time I'm around or remember, the feeling to blog is gone and I'm onto the next thing. 

Last Friday while driving around aimlessly on my day off, I decided to just turn onto to the highway towards my hometown, Daytona Beach. It's been so so so long since I've been there. I definitely have even avoided going there at times because often times no matter who I'm with or how much fun I'm  having, there's a sense of sadness and nostalgia that creeps in. 

But I went and I drove myself straight to the ocean. I needed a "reset" so desperately. Closing my eyes and just standing in the water. As the waves washed away so did any negative, toxic energy and thoughts I had. Filling myself up with light and love. I was there for an hour while the sun started to set. It was probably the most calm and at peace I've felt in a long while. 

I decided to have dinner on the river, and even visited the Lighthouse. It was so strange to be somewhere that I worked for so many years as an on-looker and not an employee. It ended up being the greatest day I've had this month. 

I chase your love around a figure 8, I need you more than I can take.

There is something so inspiring about seeing an artist that you love. You listen to her album non-stop. You know every single word as if you actually sat down with her and helped to write the album. With every note, you can feel actual emotion pour out of your bones.

So to see, hear, and witness that in some twenty odd feet or so in front of you? Amazing. And when the room is filled with hundreds of people who feel the same exact way? The energy is so thick you get lost in it. You can feel your limbs vibrating with it. Like electric pulsing through you.

Ellie Goulding was everything I imagined and more. Literally getting lost in the music. Swaying back and forth, dancing, jumping, singing along. Laughing and standing still in complete awe. Love, love, love.

I knew we had anticipated it for so long and it would be over in less than two hours. I tried my best to soak up every single second. Not letting anyone or anything ruin or even distract me. I think I made that happen. Thank you again, Ellie.

And then there's this: "Orlando best crowd I've had in a long time..."  <3

Fridays are made for sunshine pt. 2

OH. MY. GOD.  Ellie Goulding was nothing short of amazing. Last night I felt magical. Thank you, Stars. Thank you, Universe. Thank you, Ellie. Here's some positives from this week ...

• Ellie Goulding (duh! You knew it was going to get mentioned again).
• A woman who pulled me aside to tell me I had "swag" and compliment my style and the way I carried myself.
• Mango margartitas (!!!).
• Awesome hair days this week.
• Long hot, life changing showers.
• Sleeping in.
• Blue and copper nails.
• Not allowing a conversation to get me down and out.
• The weather!!! We went from the 80s to the 60s. Love it!

Love love love is all I have.

Happy Hearts,

Alex

Fridays are made for sunshine.

It's only a little more than a week into the new year, but I already feel accomplished. I wanted to really make it a point to stay more positive. Let things roll off my shoulders. Of course things have come up, and I felt stress and anxiety creepin' in, but for the most part, I think I've done a great job.

I've really tried to convey my true feelings and thoughts versus putting up that wall making me appear "cold". I've mentioned before I'm either crazy emotional or I'm stone-cold. Actually, let me re-phrase that. I'm always crazy emotional. But I don't always choose to show or express my emotion. Anyway.

I'd like to bring that forth on my blog. I think it'd be neat to take a day to just relish in the good things that happened this week. I had a class in particular that was so negative and catty. The first 15 minutes before every one of our meet-ups, I'd make every student say something positive. It was cool to see how the energy would change. I need to incorporate that into my life.

Here's some things that I really enjoyed and found beauty in...

• Someone I met recently mentioned how kind I was in conversation. It made me feel special.
• Catching up in the break room with a co-worker I rarely work with now.
• Discovering and spending a butt-load of time on Kind over Matter.
• Renewing my annual pass to Disney World!
• Deep cleaning my room
• Sleeping with a sheet instead of my giant comforter (sounds silly, but it makes for better sleep!).

What happened to you this week that made you happy? Big or small, serious or silly, it's good to focus on those instead of the stresses. 

Happy Friday and hearts!

Alex