New Smyrna Beach.

I spent Easter Weekend in New Smyrna Beach. It's always nice to have some fun in the sun with people you love. It was definitely renewing. As a trip to the ocean always is. Here's some pictures I've yet to share from the trip. Happy Monday. :) Here's to a good week ahead!

When a six year old applies sunscreen.

Attempting to love one another.

beach life. 

Four strand braid. Loved playing with her hair.

Obsessed with this beanie. 

Happy Easter! She likes peeps! Ew!

Who's that lounging in my chair? Mama, this surely is a dream.

I've not caught the "blogger bug" that's going around. It seems super contagious. Where all of a sudden bloggers feel like they need to "unplug" and/or stop blogging so much. I'm not close enough with any bloggers to catch this, thankfully. But I've definitely unplugged and it was kind of intentional. Sometimes I think of things I wouldn't mind blogging about but by the time I'm around or remember, the feeling to blog is gone and I'm onto the next thing. 

Last Friday while driving around aimlessly on my day off, I decided to just turn onto to the highway towards my hometown, Daytona Beach. It's been so so so long since I've been there. I definitely have even avoided going there at times because often times no matter who I'm with or how much fun I'm  having, there's a sense of sadness and nostalgia that creeps in. 

But I went and I drove myself straight to the ocean. I needed a "reset" so desperately. Closing my eyes and just standing in the water. As the waves washed away so did any negative, toxic energy and thoughts I had. Filling myself up with light and love. I was there for an hour while the sun started to set. It was probably the most calm and at peace I've felt in a long while. 

I decided to have dinner on the river, and even visited the Lighthouse. It was so strange to be somewhere that I worked for so many years as an on-looker and not an employee. It ended up being the greatest day I've had this month. 

Be true 'cause they'll lock you up in a sad, sad zoo.

I grew up on the beach. That's always been my happy place. When I needed time to just be alone with my thoughts I always retreated there. There's something so magical about the Ocean.  Whether you're happy, sad, indifferent. There's just this calm that comes over you and you realize you're not alone. The Universe as huge as it is, is right there by your side. Putting things into perspective. I just love it.

Living in Orlando I don't have the luxury of taking a five or ten minute stroll down to the Ocean to just take it all in. But I have something close to it.... Disney World! ;)

I don't care how old I am, I don't think anyone is ever too old for Disney.

The end of this week has been a rough one on my spirits. Dealing with my Dad has been hard for sure. It comes in spurts. One minute I'm fine and the next I'm drowning myself in unhappy, sad thoughts and I'm breaking down. And that boy I said goodbye to a month or so ago? Yeah, he came back with a vengeance and I've been dealing with that on my end. I asked him not to and he insisted texting me.

I torched any kind of relationship to the ground and with no signs of it ever resurrecting. And that's hard. Because I tried to bow out gracefully. I tried to leave the crazy out and just be peaceful and calm. It didn't have to end for good, just for a little while I kept telling him and myself.  He didn't want it to end for good, I told him it wouldn't, I just needed space. Oh. It ended for good. And I'm sad to say it ended with me basically lighting a match and torching it while I walked away with said "friendship" in flames behind me. Don't look back, Alex. Just don't look back, and don't dare shed a tear. Stand tall, stand strong.

I found myself listening to Ellie Goulding and I closed my eyes and just started swaying. Before I knew I was full on dancing and crying. "I feel you, Dad. I know you're with me" I whispered. I really do believe that. But I need some happy today. Today I need to just forget about it all.  I'm sick of these melancholy days.

So, here's to the happiest place on Earth! Disney, here I come! :)